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Okay, so all the suitcases are unpacked (or at least out of sight), new school clothes are nicely folded or hung, vacation pictures will surely be done soon, and the new ‘family year’ is knocking on the door.
The summer turned out fine, we reached our destinations, children had fun, so why does it feel like something is missing? Shouldn’t I feel rested, full of energy and ready to start afresh? Why then do I feel down, unmotivated, and overwhelmed with upcoming family assignments?
For those parents who may find themselves feeling similarly after the summer holiday, let’s call it the ‘post-summer-holiday syndrome’. Although it is by no means a clinically recognized diagnosis, a number of parents struggle with this uninvited but regular occurrence at the end of the summer.
Like the after-the-holiday syndrome that involves Christmas (when we feel very excited and cheerful for weeks ahead only to become mildly depressed right after the Christmas Day) we are initially charged with energy and anticipation of wonderful times. Then, inevitably, the summer vacation ends one day and a strange sense of void seems to fill the personal psychic space. There is a definite end to all those plans and related excitement, no matter how successfully we carried them out. Moreover—and that is why the post-holiday syndrome is longer lasting—, the impending cloud of ‘old routine’ is hanging over our tanned faces. It only feels more challenging and overwhelming than ever.
I believe the ‘family year’ starts in September. The school imposes its schedule upon us and there is good reason to integrate it into our own family routine. A reasonable family routine has many advantages: it helps to define one’s role and responsibilities, it provides a source of accomplishment, and it creates a sense of safety through its predictability.
Taking the positive approach, ‘the weather-proof’ parent will see this time of the year as a chance to bring to life a new, more effective family routine, in which the parents can raise their children with less effort and better outcomes.
A good family routine is reasonable and flexible. It has clearly defined responsibilities for each member, even the smaller ones. A child is ready to assume some household responsibilities already at age 4. A sensible family routine allows for leisure time for all (including mothers). A sensible family routine also designates time for the spouses only. Do not forget that the spousal relationship defines and sustains the family!
Good luck! Do not expect impossible. Even if your new project does not reach perfection, it will be a healthy way to overcome the ‘post-holiday syndrome’.
Dr. Veronica Svoboda
Clinical Psychologist – UNICARE Medical Center
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